When you perceive an action or event as stressful and someone tells you to calm down, how do you feel? Chances are you feel even more stressed. However, in that same situation, when you yourself notice you slipped into a stressful moment and tell yourself you can switch your feelings instantly to calm, you feel different, right?
We experience our lives from the inside out not vice-versa. Most people do the opposite. They blame outside circumstances and people for how their lives look and how they feel. Yet the world does not work that way. Those people will never change how they feel if they expect someone to make that happen for them. Never.
Taking yourself out of stress is simple but not always easy because we forget what we know. When stress hits us we lose out the ability to reason things out. Our emotions run us. Rather than thinking about our emotions, our emotions do the thinking. Now, what is wrong with that picture?
Did you ever fight with someone or participate in a heated argument only to cool off later and regret the words you spoke (or yelled)? Blair Singer sums it up perfectly, “When emotions go up intelligence goes down.” So the idea of counting to ten before reacting takes on great meaning in that context.
But there is a different way to calm yourself. First of all, you need to catch yourself feeling the stress. You can do that by refusing to react to any circumstance. The reaction happens instantly without thought. You can decide, from now on, you will respond to whatever happens. Then pay attention to how you feel about the event. Remember that events have NO meaning in and of themselves. You assign meaning to them.
Another method that has worked better for most people is to invent, in their minds, a hilarious, and so many funny events that relate to that very guy who got you annoyed. They regularly make that mental connection between the person and that imaginary event. Whenever things come to a head with that person, that funny thought automatically triggers in their mind, and they would discover that they are much less negatively affected by the less than desirable interaction.
When you step back to take a good look at what happened and create options for responding then you recognize the truth that you choose how your life goes in every moment. The significant point here is that you make the choice for you. No one can tell you what you want to do. No one can tell you what is in your highest and best interest.
You have full power over your life – always and in all ways. Sure, appearances cause the illusion that someone has power over you. The fact is you may think you gave your power away to them but you cannot give away what lies within at your core. Live in your own power to respond to always take charge of you.